The Art of Flirting...

I did some Google searches for flirting tips and found so much information! Some of it was total bullshit and some of it was really great advice!

• While flirting with someone for the first time, do not make any sexual advances. Or if you do keep them to a minimum. I tend to bring sex into any conversation, mostly in a very joking manner. But it at least puts the topic I am most interested on the table.
  


• Eye contact is very essential. It shows that you are confident about yourself. This is 100% critical! The truth is eye contact exudes confidence! It bleeds it. If you want someone while you're making your flirting quip, flash them your beautiful eyes and sly smile, maybe even with a slight giggle to go with it. I'm telling you this technique NEVER fails.
  


• Be dressed smartly and please be clean. No one likes shabby people, unless you want shabby people around you. Oh good lord. This is true, but really does it need to be said? When you're trying to land that hottie, depending on what you want him for (usually to fuck first and foremost, maybe relationship material later) the goal is to make him want you. Which means that you need to dress your best with only a hint of sexuality here and there. Especially at work, CA!!! I snagged the guy at my office by wearing the BEST professional yet sexy attire in my closet. Because I saw him multiple times a day it was imperative that he see me, and that the visual be something that he couldn't get enough of. Dress that shit up and take it out honey!!!
  


• Smile, it is essential to break the ice and make the atmosphere easy going. It also improves your face value if done the right way. Oooh, the right smile is the #1 tool in any professional flirts tool bag. It's a little bit sly and it lights up your eyes. It usually says something like "yeah, I know you want me". Keep in mind that the whole goal of flirting is to make the object of your desire want you. If you carry yourself like he's the one missing out, he'll want to know right fucking now what he's missing out on.
  


• Respect the other person. Do not force anyone to mingle with you and be aggressive. No one is obliged to you. Critical---ESPECIALLY at work! I'm pretty sure you can get fired for this. Watch for his signals and responses to your passes. If he's not picking up what you're putting down, exit the nearest stage you can.
  


• Make sure you sound genuine enough while flirting or else it will look artificial and you may end up making a fool of yourself. Use your own language. Meaning don't take my lines or anyone else's. Being true to yourself is what is most important here...

Here are some tips for picking out the flirt professional:

• They have empowering beliefs about themselves.


• Have the ability to form a rapport with almost anyone, can accommodate others while maintaining a sense of their themselves.


• Are upbeat and positive.


• Are in touch with and aware of their own sexual energy.


• Pick up other people's signals and know when to take flirting to the next level and when to stop.


• Have fun and have a child-like quality about them.

There you have it, if I missed something, chime on in.... :)

TMI Tuesday #177

1. Are you pro-marriage? Why or why not?
Yes, but I haven't always been. I used to be bitter :)
Being a girl wildly in love and more so everyday, I can say that the biggest thing that pushes me to re-believe in marriage is the fact that I want to share everything with this man. There are moments when it is positively overwhelming. And for proper balance there are times when I need my space as well. But overall he compliments me in every way a person can.

2. Have you ever invented or thought you invented a sexual position?
Yes..well maybe not "invented" but certainly came across a position I had never experienced before. It goes a little like this.....I'm bent over the edge of the bed, or on my knees and he is behind me in almost classic doggystyle position. Except that instead of holding my hips he is holding my wrists for leverage. It's really quite amazing!

3. Do you like to be tied up? Always or sometimes?
I would like to be tied up. I have once or twice before but have been asking my boyfriend to do it for years and he has yet to do so. I also have an interest in playing with hot wax.......

4. Do you consider online cybering adultery?
I hate this question because I don't have an answer. The truth is, cyber sex is not sex. I don't care what you want to say about it, it's not sex. Therefore a physically trust bond has not been broken. However, I do think that there is something very wrong, maybe emotionally disruptive, about sharing something that is supposed to be intimate and only shared with your partner when it's shared with someone else.

5. Do you prefer masturbation over real sex?
Sometimes yes. But only because I enjoy the pleasure of my own company and I discovered it late in life (I was 24). That said, there are times when I just want the quick orgasm and know that I can crash within 10 minutes of being done. Being the "pleaser" that I am, I am not one to take the O's without giving them if my boyfriend is here. So, on the nights he's at home, it's not uncommon for me to take care of myself.

6. Do you want sex more times a day than your partner?
No, he wants it more then I do. I am happy with sex 2-3 times a week, he's happy 2-3 times a day, but happily takes the 2-3 times a week. We do alright ;)

7. Do you get offended when you partner openly flirts with others or are you okay with it?
I am okay with it. I am very confident in my relationship and am not the least bit worried about it.

8. Do you think you're flirty by nature?

hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahaha, what? really?? hahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahhahahaha I am what you may call a "natural". And yes it has gotten me in loads and loads of trouble. I figured out from a very young age how to get what I want and using my sexuality and "charm" is just one way to make that happen. I am the girl that despite the fact that I don't have an amazing body, have never had a hard time getting laid. As I have been told "there's always someone I can call".

Dirty Nasty Things!! HELP!!!

Dear Jez,

So I have recently befriended a couple of guys at work who live together. May I pause to mention that one is an absolutely adorable black man that I want to do dirty nasty things with. The other has potential to be a really great friend in my eyes but I'm worried that he feels differently about the situation. I don't want to send the wrong signals to the friend but at the same time I want to make sure the the beautiful man knows I'm interested!

I have given off signals to the friend to let him know that I am not interested in him like that but I find myself spending time at their house often because I want to be around this beautiful man and I enjoying spending time with the friend. I don't want to come out and say "I'm not interested in you like that" because I don't want to hurt his feelings. So here's the deal... how do I make sure that the beautiful man knows that I want to fuck his brains out but also make sure that the friend knows that I just want to be friends and most importantly not hurt anyone in the process?

-caffeine addicted

CA,

What a mess you have yourself in. Or potentially have yourself in. Having gone through a "work experience" recently, my first advice is to be very careful. Hurt feelings need to be avoided by everyone; but mostly for you. Protect your own ass first, everyone else second.

That said, carefully test the water with the beautiful man. If you get the feeling he's into it, push a little further. How far you put yourself out there is up to you and your comfort level. I have a hard time with boundaries when it comes to the object of my desire, but that's not always a good thing.

As far as the friend goes......you may have to just tell him straight up that you're "just not that into him". Whatever you do, you cannot use "work" as the reason not to fuck the friend. It'll just look bad when the beautiful man is pounding you down the hall from his room.

Good Luck CA!

XOXO,

Jez

Guys out there-----if you're making the move and she's not into it, what's the best way for us to let you know this?

OI!!!

This is going to be a rough week peeps! I have deadlines for stuff at work and am plugging away at getting them completed. I should be back tomorrow, Wednesday at the latest!

Fuck Me It's Friday!!!

“Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last”

Well snow is in the forecast here again, I could be waking up this morning with inches on the ground and I gotta tell ya, I'm pretty sick of this shit weather. I am ready for the sun, especially since I am now a proud convertible owner. But it is what it is and I suppose technically it is still winter.....oi, when will the warm weather arrive???

Happy HNT!!!

Roses are red
pickles are green
I love your legs
and what's in between

I like your style
I like your class
but most of all
I like your ass!!!!

TMI Tuesday #175

1. What do find is the most exciting part of a new sexual encounter?
OOH the kissing! That will make or break it. If the guy is a horrible kisser then it's hard for me to get the juices running in the right direction. I also enjoy the anticipation of feeling him enter me. I wouldn't say it's an "exciting" part of it, but certainly anticipated.

2. Do you have "a most exciting part of a sexual encounter" with a usual partner?
Yes I do. I am a fan of kissing, but bigger then that I love love love being held while he enters me. I love the feeling of a man on top of me.

3. How open and honest are you about your life with someone you just met?
I am as open as they want me to be basically. I have nothing to hide and will share just about anything. The only exceptions to this would be over-exposure to spending time with my daughter right out of the gate.

4. How open and honest are you about your life with someone you work with?
Depends on the person. My very good friend and I work together. My cubie is a total bitch though and I don't tell her anything.

5. How open and honest are you about your life with a casual acquaintance who lives in your neighborhood (or the parent a your child's friend or...)?
Eh, I'm pretty private in general. But if you really want to know something, I'll answer any question honestly.

Bonus (as in optional): Define a "normal" as in "normal relationship" or "normal sex life".
Normal is so subjective. Normal for me includes lots of communication and honesty. Sex life? eh, 2-3 times a week is good for me. I'm a simple sort of girl.

Weekend Wrap Up

Spring is on the way to the Pacific NW!!! This weekend we had some really great weather and we took great advantage of it!

Friday night was a bit of a girls night. My good friend, my daughter and her friend all went out for dinner.

Saturday my lover and I dropped the top on the Cabrio and drove to the park with our dogs. After going for a walk in the park we snuggled up and made out on the beach. Having our own good time (not being horribly inappropriate) a whole family came over and sat down literally 10ft from us. Here's the thing people: if there are hundreds of feet of beach, if not miles, GO SOMEWHERE ELSE and take your bratty space invading kids with you! I was mildly irritated by the fact that they insisted on sitting on top of us, but became full on pissed off when the little girl and her Dad decided they were going to lay a stick 2ft from my dog and see who could throw their rock over the stick the fastest. Then I was ready to kill people. So we packed up our things and left. Irritating, but we walked it off through the rest of the park and the wooded trail to get back to the car.

Later that evening we met a friend for some delicious dinner and Coraline 3D. Although a very unique film, really not a kids movie.

Sunday morning I woke up at my lovers home. After he awoke we snuggled on the leather couch and when he got up to pee I slipped out of my sweats in the sunlight. Upon his return he was surprised to see me laying there naked on the cold leather in the sun. Starting with my lips he kissed me all the way down my body, rubbing his hands all over me. The sun was heating the leather and our bodies as he entered me and we had juicy Sunday Sex all over the leather couch.

From there we dressed and went grocery shopping; prepping for the upcoming week.